Anyone who spends decent amount of time in Appalachia knows the Not Deer. If you’ve gone on the Blue Ridge Parkway at night, you’ve probably seen him.
Now: keep in mind if you don’t live in an area with a lot of deer, deer are freaky bastards on their own. They’re really big, extremely agile, move surprisingly quietly, and are extremely durable. It’s not unheard of for someone to hit a deer and total their car. Once I heard a story of a man who hit a deer on accident and decided to take it home and least get some good meat out of a bad situation. On the drive home the deer woke up and absolutely shredded the inside of this man’s trunk. They’re very cute but you definitely don’t want to mess with one. Just keep that relationship in the back of your mind.
Anyway, the Not Deer is more or less what I’d call a folk cryptid. Everybody has their story about it. They’re all somewhat similar. You’re in a car at night, in a rural, heavily wooded area, and probably a bit lost. It’s not wildly uncommon to see a opossum crossing the road, see blips of little animals with your headlights. You see a deer. So you/your friends go “Oh! Deer!” and slow down in case it leaps in front of you.
Then you see it more clearly. There’s just something wrong about it. There’s something about its eyes. You feel your stomach get heavy like a rock, the hair on your neck raise. You sense intelligence that you shouldn’t. It doesn’t move like a deer, it moves like a… oh god, what is that thing? Whatever that thing is, it’s not a deer and we need to leave. You hit the gas and get the hell out of there.
A group of my friends got lost on the Parkway once and reemerged with a chilling story. They aren’t the kind of folks to lie or over exaggerate. Among other freaky stuff that happened, the driver claimed she saw a deer in the road. Then she noticed the deer was on two legs.
Can’t you just summon a demon gf like us normal people?
does it look like i can afford the alchemical ingredients necessary to summon a demon gf?
If monster girls/boys ever became real, posts on /r/relationships would include species along with age and sex.
“My (M21 Human) girlfriend (F22 Lamia) keeps shedding all over the house. How do I tell her that’s my fetish without being weird?”
“Dude what the fuck that is INCREDIBLY WEIRD. And I (Human M26) like how my wife (Dragon F240) cooks. Also don’t come at me with that age difference, dragons live longer then humans it’s just natural and we’re okay with that.”
‘My (Human M23) wife (Cowfolk F26) wants to breastfeed me, but I’m not sure how comfortable I am with that. Her milk tastes fine, but it just seems… weird to me. What should I do?”
Top comment with Reddit Gold: “TOUCH THE COW DO IT NOW”
you have set dialogue and actions that you repeat to every person who approaches you. whenever you’re alone you just stand there waiting for someone to interact with you. sometimes random people you’ve never met will just walk up and start attacking you for no reason.
If you’re American will you reblog this with where you grew up and wether or not they had sixth grade camp. I grew up in southern California and every class in sixth grade would take a field trip and go to a camp for a week and this is absolutely bewildering my wife cause she’s never heard of sixth grade camp
In America, “Lemonade” refers to a drink made with lemon juice, water, and usually a sweetener of some type.
In England, “Lemonade” is a fizzy drink more akin to Sprite or 7-Up.
In Japan, there’s a drink called “Ramune”, which is a japanification of the word “Lemonade” but it takes its meaning from England, so it’s a fizzy drink - though lemon is probably the hardest flavour to find, and it comes in almost any fruit you can imagine, as well as matcha and yogurt flavours. I have tried most of these. There are multiple companies that make Ramune and while the iconic bottle shape is nearly identical, the packaging is different.
Yesterday I went to a Chinese restaurant, in America for context, and on the counter as you walked in were three Ramune bottles, in pink, blue, and yellow. I didn’t have the time as I walked by to see what flavours they were, and I couldn’t tell by the colour of the soda inside either, so when I sat down I asked for a “PinkRamune.”
Our waiter, an older Chinese man in a stylish vest, told us he didn’t have any pink, just yellow, so I figured they were out of the pink and blue and said “alright, that’s fine.” not having known what flavours any of them were anyways, and able to enjoy any except matcha, which tastes like burnt seaweed soda.
He comes back to the table with a can of Minute Maid Lemonade, taking us full circle. It was so funny I didn’t even protest and accepted my role, because technically if you think about it he brought me the “right” drink.
Anonymous said: What do you mean by That's Not A Deer in the mountains near you????
